so there I was with my eyes glued shut…

So there I was, laying on a table with my face mask on…

Eyes glued shut, Ride of the Valkyries playing in the background.

It’s been a long time since I felt quite that silly, but damn… I really wanted to jump on a motorcycle and go rescue some people. That song is so EPIC. 

OK… I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

Let me restart this story with a bit of a confession… 

I’m pretty lazy.

I’m constantly on the hunt for the most efficient way to do things, so I can buy back time to think about even MORE efficient ways to do things.

That’s how I found myself laying on a bed two days ago, in a private room at a salon… eyes glued shut.

OK… I exaggerate a TINY bit. My eyes weren’t glued shut. But they were coated with a bunch of crap, so I had to keep them closed for the better part of an hour.

Why? Call it an experiment in seeing how truly lazy I can be. I don’t like wearing makeup because putting it on takes too much time. But I like LOOKING like I’m wearing makeup (or at least like I’m slightly more put together than “freshly rolled out of bed”)…

So I was on the table trying out something called a “lash lift”… or a semi-permanent (8-12 week) tint-and-curl on ye olde eye curtains.

Again… lazy.

I mean, I could have gone for lash extensions like this lady:

But 1) I’m not really into potentially flying away using only my face should a good, stiff breeze blow by, and 2) the maintenance on that shit is ridiculous and you have to go in every couple weeks to keep it up. That kinda defeats the purpose of being lazy. 

So semi-permanent it is! I only have to go in every 3 months for this!

This story may be slightly confusing for folks who’ve seen me present, especially virtually. 

Why is her hair bigger than she is? Is she even wearing pants? WHO KNOWS?

And I admit… even before the pandemic shutdowns, I REALLY liked being comfortable while working at home. I even had work PJs and bedtime PJs.

But recently I decided to look a little more presentable than “inexplicably woke up on the lawn and then wandered into a business meeting”, so I started looking for ways to make it easy. Incentivize myself a bit, if you will. 

And for me, there’s no better incentive than minimal effort for maximum return. 

Every minute I don’t have to spend thinking about my appearance is a minute I can spend thinking, strategizing, planning, brainstorming, and otherwise using that brainpower to help people and get closer to my goals.

That’s not to say that folks who spend time on their appearance are bad or vain or any of that bullshit. No shade intended, and if I’m being completely honest… I’m envious of all you good-looking mofos. 

I WANT to care… I just don’t.

To me, doing my makeup and hair is kinda like making an appointment with the dentist. It’s something you know you SHOULD do. But it’s not exactly something you get EXCITED about… and let’s face it, you’ll probably put it off if given the chance. 

So I take a shortcut… one hour on the bed with my eyes glued shut, Ride of the Valkyries blasting in the background, making me feel like an absolute badass.

That one hour probably saves me 20-30 minutes a day on primping. Brush the hair, clean the teeth, wash the face, and let’s get shit done. 

So why am I telling you all this?

Partly because it was so ridiculously and wonderfully weird as it was happening, that I knew I had to share.

Partly to explain my sudden OMG SHE’S NOT WEARING PAJAMAS appearance.

But mostly because I love streamlining stuff… boiling it down and getting super simple.

It’s kinda my whole business (and life) philosophy, yo.

If you’re feeling my vibe on starting simple, you might also like my approach to creating online sales promotions. 

I have a basic formula I follow every.single.time. I’m asked to plan a promotion. It’s a repeating pattern I noticed under the surface of every multimillion-dollar promo I’ve ever been part of. 

And now I’m breaking it down in my first ever mini-course: Permission to Keep it Simple.

I created this because I got tired of seeing how complex the world of marketing and funnels has gotten. The key to consistent sales is simplicity and transparency… because the less confused/frustrated your customer is, the more likely they are to actually hear your message and decide to buy in.

If you want to see how I think through multimillion-dollar launches and promotions, you can get the details here

And if you have any other tips for me on how to save time, lay it on me in the comments!

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